Dealing with work priorities can be challenging on its own, but when personal matters come into play, it can feel overwhelming. Whether it’s a family crisis or a personal health issue, finding a way to balance your work responsibilities while still taking care of yourself and your loved ones is crucial.
Certain life events are sometimes so stressful, that they make it impossible to keep your attention at work related matters. Breakups, divorses, losing loved ones, emerging serious illnesses, financial hardship, being a victim of a crime or violence, and experiencing a natural disaster are all situations that make our lives unbearable. The recent COVID-19 pandemic has also been a major source of stress and mental health decline.
It’s important to communicate with your manager or supervisor if you’re experiencing a personal crisis that may impact your work priorities. Whether it’s a family emergency, health issue, or other private matter, letting them know what’s going on can help them offer support and adjust your workload accordingly or give flexible work hours.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help from colleagues. They may be able to offer you support, advice, or assistance with tasks or projects. And remember, this applies to company owners too – if you’re dealing with a personal crisis, you should feel comfortable communicating with your team to ensure work priorities are managed effectively.
Next, it’s essential to prioritize your tasks and focus on the most critical ones first. This may mean delegating some tasks to others or postponing non-essential tasks until you have more time and energy to tackle them.
If you’re struggling to stay productive at work while going through a personal crisis, know that you’re not alone. It’s common to feel overwhelmed and unmotivated during difficult times, and it’s important to prioritize your well-being and mental health above all else. There are several resources and strategies you can utilize to help manage your work productivity while navigating a personal crisis.
Also, seek out support from outside resources. Professional counseling or therapy can help you address the root causes of your personal crisis and provide coping strategies for managing your emotions. Support groups or peer networks can provide a sense of community and understanding, helping you feel less isolated and alone.
Finally, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Make self-care a priority, and don’t hesitate to take time off work if needed. Ensure you get enough sleep, eat healthy, and take breaks when needed. Use your breaks throughout the day to stretch, meditate, or take a walk outside. Remember, your well-being is more important than your productivity, and it’s okay to take things one day at a time. By utilizing these resources and strategies, you can manage your work productivity while prioritizing your mental health and well-being during a personal crisis.
Dealing with work priorities while being overwhelmed with personal matters can be a difficult and stressful experience. However, by communicating, prioritizing, taking care of yourself, and seeking help when needed, you can find a way to manage both your work and personal responsibilities. Remember to be kind to yourself and take things one day at a time.
“Most people spend more time planning a vacation than they do planning a life.”
― Chet Holmes
When choosing your future, some of your decisions will have long-lasting effects and can lead to lots of success or disappointments, whereas some others will be valid only for a day or two, so why bother about them too much. You could follow the Pareto principle saying that for 80% of the effect, you will need 20% of effort, so you should identify the 20% of what’s long-term and act on it. Let’s explore which decisions are short-term and which are long-term.
Short term
Short-term decisions are usually triggered by life events and news and are often made based on emotions. Short-term considerations could be caused by fear of missing out or worry about what other people will think about you. On the other hand, they can be spontaneous, playful, opportunistic, open-minded as well.
Things to do during the day. Unless it’s some life event like a birthday party, wedding, job interview, conference talk, or a show, you usually won’t need lengthy preparation.
What to wear. Why spend too much time thinking about what to wear on a regular day? Instead, just choose something that matches together, fits the weather, suits the occasion, and is comfortable.
What to eat. Choose whatever you like or are used to unless you are on a special diet.
What music to listen to. Listen to what follows your mood or supports the mood you would like to get into.
What presents to give to your friends, family, lovers. Most of the celebrations in life are recurring and relatively frequent. So surprise your people with something spontaneous.
What TV programs or movies to watch. Choose whatever seems essential or entertaining to you.
What galleries or museums to visit. Take opportunities to see whatever interesting exhibitions are open in your city or the city you visit.
As a proverb says, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
Long term
Long-term decisions are usually based on personal philosophy of life. You use logic and strategies to direct your energy towards growth. Otherwise, your life will likely stagnate or destroy you, and you will have lots of regrets about living conditions.
Where to live. Your living location and conditions will have an effect on your solitude or social life, career, love life, speed and rhythm of daily routine, etc. You can choose to live with your relatives, in a shared apartment with flatmates, in a dormitory, in a rented or owned apartment, house, or villa. And all that will have different outcomes on your future life.
What to study. Your job opportunities, quality of life, and overall happiness in your life will depend on what you learn at University, College, Academy, or Professional School. Will you study something that you are interested in or something that your parents were impressed about? Will you learn something that you are passionate about, something that the market demands, or something in between?
Where to work. Will you work for survival, self-expression, self-fulfillment, or a local or global mission? It all depends on what job you will choose and how it matches your personality. Will, each of your employment, be the basis for your following ones, or will they be just a waste of career experience while searching for your field?
What name to give to your baby. In my life, I’ve met people who hated their first or last names because those names made them difficult to reach the expectations they had from life. Not in all countries, it is possible to change your name. So when choosing a name for your newborn, choose wisely.
What name to give to your company, product, or service. Just as for the baby name, the name of your business can also have a long-lasting effect. Especially if you care not only about the sales but also about your company’s branding and distant future.
What goals to aim for. You can have many passions in life and lots of possible directions to go with your life. But which of those directions is the most optimal for your character, skills, and needs?
What’s your main reason for living. Why were you born on this planet? What’s the purpose of your life? These existential questions are definitely long-term and require deep self-analysis.
“Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values.”
– Joshua L. Liebman
It depends
Some decisions can either be quick and spontaneous or thoughtful and logical depending on what kind of person you are:
What events, conferences, or festivals to go to. Are you going to different gatherings for entertainment or getting information and resources for your projects?
What books to read. Are you reading books to have rest or to get knowledge for your career and self-development?
What podcasts to listen to. Do you listen to podcasts to fill your silence with chitchat or to learn something valuable and inspirational for life?
What country to visit for vacation. Do you choose your traveling spontaneously, or do you have a bucket list for life?
What newspapers or magazines to subscribe to. Do you read whatever is popular or what supports your knowledge for lifestyle or career?
What theatre plays to watch. Do you go to theaters to have a good time or to widen your viewpoint?
If you consider that your time is limited, you will probably try to save it by choosing what goes along with your values and goals. You will visit events, read books, and listen to podcasts useful for your primary activities. On the other hand, if you consider that your time is limitless, you will make decisions based on what feels right at the moment: you will go to events that will seem attractive, shocking, or inspiring. You will read books that entertain you much. You will listen to podcasts where the people seem most charismatic or grounded according to your preferences or where the topics seem interesting to you.
How to solve short or long-term decisions?
You can make short-term decisions using intuition, common sense, or randomness. For example, it doesn’t really matter so much what exactly you gonna wear today at work. What matters more is what clothes you buy to wear for work. It doesn’t really matter what dish you are going to try today. What matters more is what diet you are going to take in your life. It doesn’t matter too much what song you will listen to today at your lunch break. What matters more is in what mood and mindset your playlists are going to put you into.
When it comes to short-term decisions, choose what inspires you or solves a problem.
When it comes to long-term decisions, it’s better to weigh the options before making a decision. And for this reason, the most valuable tool to do that is probably the strategic prioritizer “1st things 1st”. Half an hour of prioritizing with “1st things 1st” can save you from months or even years of frustration and regrets. “1st things 1st” lets you make the most optimal decisions based on your knowledge and intuition.
This is how it goes. First, you start prioritization by defining your success criteria. Second, you list out things to prioritize. Third, you rate each item by each measure. And lastly, the tool calculates your priorities and groups them into something to choose for sure, things to consider, and things to eliminate or skip. It’s as easy as that.
Somewhat 80 years ago, an American psychologist Abraham Harold Maslow generalized a hierarchy of needs, where each level of needs builds upon the previous one. At the very base, people require a smartphone with the Internet. Just kidding.
The overview of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs
At the very base, we all have physiological needs. To stay alive, we need to eat when we have hunger, drink when we are thirsty, have something to wear for the right body temperature, get to the WC when we need it, have a place to sleep, and probably someone to sleep with.
Then we have safety needs, such as a stable source of income, having where to live, being secure outside, at home, and at work, having some rules to follow, being treated well in case of illnesses, and getting help in case of fire or other catastrophes. At this level, we want to have structure and order. We want to know our limits and live stable and predictable lives.
These two steps ensure that a person will survive physically in this world.
Then we have a need to love, be loved, and belong. At this level, life without connections feels empty. We require pets, friends, lovers, family, coworkers, communities. We want to be a part of something bigger. We want to share intimacy and tenderness, affection and belonging.
The next level is the need of esteem. We want to feel strength, self-esteem, and self-love inside of us. At the same time, we want recognition for our achieved mastery and respect for our competence from the outside world. At this level, we demand reputation and prestige.
Then there is the need of self-actualization. At this level, we want to explore, learn more, stimulate our minds. We want to play, grow, bring our best to the world. We need to be in harmony, order, and beauty.
The needs and priorities
At all of those levels we make decisions.
At the bottom of the hierarchy we need to choose what to do to survive physically.
Then we need to make decisions what to do to survive psychologically without becoming robots or zombies.
Then we need to decide what to do to become more than social animals.
Then we need to find a way how to escape the narcissism and arrogance.
Finally we need to make decisions what to do to achieve the full harmony in the world.
To make conscious decisions we have to prioritize some things over others. Let’s explore some of the crucial decisions we make at each level of our needs.
Physiological needs
What are you going to eat and drink to survive another month, week, or even this day?
When choosing food and drinks, you would typically ask yourself: Is your food cheap? Does it fill you? Is it tasty?
To get to the upper levels, you should also ask: Is your food healthy? Is your food nutritious? Does it give enough energy to you? Will your friends or family like it? Will you get a compliment for making this dish? Will your cooking skills be honored? Is it made from the best ingredients? Won’t you need to throw half your ingredients away? Is your food supply chain practical, ethical, fairtrade?
What are you going to wear?
When choosing clothes and shoes, you would typically ask yourself: Do they fit the season? Are they clean? Do they look appropriate?
To get to higher levels, you should also ask: Are they comfortable? Do they look good? Will your friends and loved ones like it? Do you feel like yourself in those clothes? Do you look respectful with this outfit? Do you need another piece of jacket this year? Are you living your authentic self with these clothes?
Safety needs
What job should you have?
When choosing a career, you would typically ask yourself: Is it paid enough? Do you understand, and can you do what they ask you there? Is it not too hard? Is it not too boring?
To get to the upper levels, you should also ask: Do you feel accepted by coworkers? Are coworkers friendly? Are you recognized for your work? Does your salary match your skills? Does the work fulfill you? Do you grow enough there? Do you do something meaningful there? Are you living your full potential at your work?
What should you buy today?
When choosing a purchase, you would typically ask yourself: Is it affordable? Do you want it? Do you need it?
To get to the higher levels, you should also ask: Is it long-lasting? Will that improve your comfort? Will that improve your relationships? Is that a brand you like? Will that look prestigious? Will that represent the status you are at? Is it useful? Does it look authentic and original? Is it ethically and ecologically made and brought to your shops?
Love & belonging needs
Which event should you attend?
When choosing events to go to, you would typically ask yourself: Would you go to this event for solidarity? Do you like the content of the event? Do you like the people who will gather there? Is it a chance to make new friends?
To get to the upper levels, you should also ask: do you feel like yourself in these kinds of events? Is it a chance to express yourself and gain recognition there? Is it not too long? Is there a chance to meet people of the same interests and social status? Can you make an impact at such events? Can you feel authentic at such events?
What present to get to your friend?
When choosing a present, you would typically ask yourself: Can you afford it? Will your friend like it? Is it something they don’t have yet?
To get to the higher levels, you should also ask: Will that present match your friend’s social status? Will that gift show your admiration and respect for your friend? Will that present lift your friend? Will that present add up to the authenticity of your friend?
Esteem needs
What should be your goals for the upcoming years?
When choosing long-term goals, you would typically ask yourself: Is that goal specific? Can it be measured? Is it attainable for you? Is it realistic to achieve it? Is the timing correct for this goal?
To get to the upper level, you should also ask: Is the goal positively stated? Is it ethical? Is it challenging you? Is it environmentally sound?
What books should you read?
When choosing your next book to read, you would typically ask yourself: Does it bring you knowledge and understanding? Does it improve your skills? Is it widespread or reputable literature? Is it interesting? Is it entertaining?
To get to the higher level, you should also ask: Does it make you a better human being? Does it lift you up spiritually? Does it help to find yourself or going towards your personal mission?
Need for self-actualization
What are the activities that you could call your Ikigai?
When choosing your reason for being, you would typically ask yourself: Do you love doing it? Are you good at it? Can you be paid for it? Does the world need it?
To go even further, you should ask yourself: Is it healthy? Is it ethical? Is it sustainable? Is it ecological? Is it progressive?
What should you do today?
When choosing the next optimal action to do today, you would typically ask yourself: Does that bring you closer to your goals? Does it remove bottlenecks? Does it make money or reduce costs?
To go even further, you should ask yourself: Is it impactful? Is it ethically, socially, and ecologically responsible? Does it bring more health and clarity to your life?
Invitation
So you have to make decisions and prioritize your choices at all levels of needs. The strategic prioritizer “1st things 1st” was designed to help you not lose yourself among all those choices and dimensions and help you grow as an individual, personality, and spirit. You are invited to use it and make your life more progressive.
If you are still struggling at the survival phase, but you would still like to make better decisions in your life, drop me a message and your reasons at the contact form. Every month I will select several people to use the tool for free.
It’s 2020, and a lot of things happening now might seem very chaotic and confusing. Brexit inescapably happened. Man-caused global warming is changing landscapes. Oceans are flooded with plastic. The Covid19 pandemic brings risk to our lives and limits our mobility. Wildfires in Australia and the USA kill live beings. People are still experiencing discrimination and brutality because of skin color. Moreover, you might believe in some conspiracy theories that add to stress and anxiety about the current world situation. But do you want to stay under that stress, or would you instead want to have peace of mind?
First of all, what you can do is think about whether you can change any of that? Is it in your scope of control, or is it outside of your abilities? If you can’t control something, detach yourself from it. It is as it is. You have to adapt to it, but there is no necessity to keep worrying about it day after day.
If adversity happens to you directly and you are affected badly, you have to calm down and focus on what you can do to solve your situation. For example, if you lost a job due to Covid19, you have to find another one. Maybe even get some skills in another area than what you know already. Don’t panic. Clear your mind and surroundings at first.
If you have a chaotic mind, you probably also have a messy home. Start cleaning up your mind by cleaning up your home. Define places for each thing you want to keep. Get rid of or hide the things that bring you bad memories and emotions. It might take hours or days, but you will finally have a system for something you see every day.
Take a problem you want to solve and plan the way how you are going to solve it. Divide the path to the solution into multiple steps that you can take one by one. For example, you were in a restaurant business but decided to learn software development. So you will borrow some money, take online courses on some technologies, create a project for a friend, work on your LinkedIn profile, and apply for a junior position at a chosen IT company.
If you feel down, maybe you are lack of brain fuel. The human brain runs on glucose and needs at least 420 kcals per day to maintain normal function. That’s 42 grapes or cherries, 4 bananas, or 4 big apples a day. It can as well be more or less depending on your body mass and the mental work intensity.
To have a harmonious mind, make sure to spend time with people you care about. But also have some time alone. You need both: a feeling of connection and love; and time for meditation or prayer, journaling, and exercising.
When doing something, try not to multitask. Focus on one thing at a time. Multitasking brings you more stress and makes you less productive. If you have several or many things to do in a day, create time blocks for each of those things. For example, you will spend two hours reading and answering emails, one hour for the industry news, and one hour for an online meeting. Try to stick to your plan.
Simplify your life. It is recommendable to choose up to three most important tasks every day and only focus on them. Quality is more important than quantity. When you work a lot, you have a risk of mental burnout. That’s especially often in the tech industry.
Try to get information in your head classified. Either connect the points of knowledge in your head and group them into categories. Or read more about your interests and find some categorizations on Wikipedia or other resources. This gives you more trust in yourself and your opinions.
Get an essential objective in your life. It should be a big aim worth pursuing. Then make a plan for how you will achieve your dreams. And try to progress towards it. Know that failures will happen on the way. But focus on the process and enjoy the ride.
Whether your first name is James, Mary, or X Æ A-Xii, your name not only identifies you but also shapes your character and influences how other people will accept you. With the wrong name, you could have problems with being accepted by the society you are living in. With the wrong name, you can have difficulties getting a partner or job you want. With the wrong name, you can have a weight of associations that people bring to it. When you are about to have a baby, don’t give them the wrong name.
Our story
My wife and I are from Lithuania, and we are living in Berlin, Germany. Before the births of our kids, we did some name researches to find names that would be well accepted in Germany as well as being Lithuanian. I wouldn’t be a programmer if I wouldn’t take 500 most popular names in Germany and filter them using Python programming language to see the ones with Lithuanian word endings. From that point, we got just a handful of names and intuitively chose the ones that we liked most. I hope that Joris and Laura will enjoy the names they got at birth and will live integral and successful lives.
If we didn’t trust our intuition, we could have used the strategic prioritizer 1st things 1st to analyze a few names by multiple aspects. Let’s see how we could have done that.
Using the prioritizer
At 1st things 1st, you can evaluate anything (like first names) by multiple criteria (like aspects) and get calculated priorities. The workflow looks like this:
You define your criteria or aspects.
You list out your things, like first names.
You evaluate each name by each aspect.
You explore the prioritized first names.
Step 1. Define your aspects
Let’s brainstorm for some aspects that we can use to evaluate first names:
Both parents like it
Easy to pronounce
Easy to spell
Sounds good together with the last name
Doesn’t have negative associations
Has a nice meaning
Unique
Traditional
Globally recognized
Authentic in your native country
Ethnically appropriate
Doesn’t prompt negative nicknames
Doesn’t sound foolish for a middle-aged person
Some relative has it
A person you admire has it
A favorite book or movie character has it
I will choose the ones that are most important to me and enter into the prioritizer.
Both parents like it
Easy to pronounce
Easy to spell
Globally recognized
Doesn't sound foolish for a middle aged person
Here they are all added to the tool:
Step 2. List out the first names
Now let’s list some first names that you thought could be good candidates, let’s say, for a daughter:
Lina
Laura
Ada
Lara
Emma
Step 3. Evaluate each name by each aspect
Then I go through the list of aspects and names and rate how each name matches each aspect.
Step 4. Explore the prioritized names
In the last step, I get all first names prioritized by how much they match all the aspects. “Laura” is in the first position with a 100% match. Other names got fewer points, so they are less recommended to choose.
Last thoughts
If people call you by another name already or you want to start a new chapter in your life, you can still officially change your first name in some countries. But if you care about your kids’ well being, choose their names wisely as soon as they come into this world.
