Human experience is rooted in dualities and polarities. It’s like Yin and Yang in Taoism, and you can see it in every area of life.
When someone labels you, or when you define your own identity too strictly, it begins to limit your self-expression. The more you believe that you are only who they say you are, or only who you think you are, the more polarized you become.
People are often afraid of what they don’t understand. For example, those who live stable and predictable lives may fear that people demonstrating for justice, human rights, and freedom of speech will take away their sense of safety.
The media knows that having a common enemy can unify us. This can be powerful and even beneficial for communities. But if pushed too far, it often escalates into greater conflict, riots, or even wars. Trying to understand the other side reduces fear and quiets the fire, even if just a little.
A well-known Lithuanian actor once said that in improvisational theater, anything that happens either helps the performance, is neutral, or harms it. He suggested looking at life in the same way.
The Beatles’ song Let It Be is about releasing control and surrendering. Holding onto one extreme for too long can become painful.
In Hinduism, the deity Shiva – often invoked in mantras – represents the unity of opposites. Honoring Shiva is about accepting transformation, moving from the known into the unknown.
In quantum physics, the opposite side of where you stand is found in superposition. There, everything is possible until it is observed and realized. The absolute holds all possibilities. Manifestation is the act of choosing and shaping one path out of the unknown.
Here are some polarities to reflect on. You can take a side, choose something in between, or try to integrate both:
theory vs. practice
introversion vs. extraversion
feeling vs. intellect
masculinity vs. femininity
veganism vs. carnivorism
animality vs. humanity
heterosexuality vs. queerness
sobriety vs. intoxication
playfulness vs. politeness
asceticism vs. abundance
dominance vs. humility
generosity vs. thriftiness
sexuality vs. modesty
individualism vs. integrity
simplicity vs. complexity
ease vs. depth
light-heartedness vs. seriousness
physicality vs. spirituality
industrial-age “biorobot” vs. divine creator
conformity vs. authenticity
The list could go on endlessly. There are no absolute right or wrong answers – it simply shows how diverse people are, with their quirks and traits.
If you live on one side of the spectrum and have never experienced the other, it will feel foreign. Some may want to test the other side, while others will reject it at all costs.
When you have experienced both, you might find a golden middle point where you feel comfortable. Or you might integrate both sides into your being, finding peace with the opposites and realizing how vast your potential truly is.
In the end, I suggest not judging what is good or bad in others, but rather choosing what feels like your own (or your ideal own) and what feels foreign. At the same time, remember that what feels foreign to you may feel deeply “own” to someone else – and your “own” may feel foreign to them.
As you outgrow simple dualities, you step into dualities of thought or ideology. Then into dualities of higher, more abstract levels. In a simplified sense, you might grow from black vs. white, to monochrome vs. color, to visual vs. auditory, to wave vs. matter. And so the mind evolves.
But as a wise young woman once said: “Don’t get so high up in the clouds that you forget where you stand.”
Where are you standing? Think of the first word that comes to your mind right now – that might be it.
Lithuanian polymath Tomas Jonas Girdzijauskas has said once that every man must develop his own Operating System – the core structure and mechanism on how he perceives the world. The Operating System of my worldview is based on many different influences. Still, at its core, I see the philosophies and paradigms of three men who analyzed the human mind and spirit. They are Ken Wilber, David R. Hawkins, and Carl Jung.
Ken Wilber – Integral Theory
I learned about Ken Wilber through a Mindvalley webinar, read online about his theories, watched another webinar that illustrated his theories by themes in movies, and watched a biographical depiction of his love life, titled “Grace and Grit.”
At a young age, Ken Wilber studied lots of philosophies and religions, and combined what he learned into Integral Theory. He defines stages of personal development, ranging from the physical self to the godly self, and assigns colors to each stage, progressing from infrared to clear light. Human consciousness evolves from being ego-centric to caring about one’s close ones, then about their communities, their city, their country, their continent, their planet, all living physical beings, and non-physical ones too.
There are many aspects to explore in Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory, and I may delve into his books at a later stage of my maturity.
For those curious about me, in the past couple of years, I transitioned from Turquoise to Indigo as my baseline – the first level of spiritual awareness. I have encountered the most resistance from people at the Amber level during my growth.
David Ramon Hawkins – Kinesiology
I learned about David R. Hawkins from a Lithuanian Facebook group focused on consciousness, which cited his book. As the texts resonated with me a lot, I purchased the mentioned book, Power vs. Force. An Anatomy of Consciousness-and it was another eye opener for me.
David R. Hawkins analyzed how kinesiology can help you read your intuition. The idea is that people are connected to a common consciousness field, which can be read from by checking the strength of muscle tension. The mind might doubt or lie due to various biases, but the body feels the field more strongly. There are different muscle tests to check the truthfulness of your true-false statements. Some checks I would start with: “My name is …”. Insert your name and the other person’s name there, and see the difference in your muscle strength. Then, check the statements “I am a body” and “I have a body.”
Eventually, those muscle tests fail too, especially when you are sceptical. However, using those methods, David R. Hawkins deciphered and evaluated consciousness levels with their frequencies ranging from 1 to 1000. That has a similarity to Ken Wilber’s consciousness levels. Hawkins’ consciousness levels address different emotions as the baseline of what a person feels every day. At the bottom of the scale are shame (20), guilt (30), apathy (50), and grief (75). At the top are love (500), joy (540), peace(600), and enlightenment (700-1000).
At some point in my life, while having the consciousness map in front of me, I could empathetically recognize at which frequency a person is currently living.
Carl Gustav Jung – the Shadow
I learned about Carl Jung from an artistic and technical friend, then watched a few introductory YouTube videos, such as comparisons with Buddhism, listened to the This Jungian Life podcast, and read some related threads on X.
The main idea of Carl Jung’s theories was that a person has their conscious thinking and a persona as a chosen representation to others, as well as a significant shadow side (unconscious), hiding all the suppressed beliefs about themselves and past traumas.
For example, one of the topics of the unconscious is how a person perceives the archetypical masculinity and femininity in themselves.
In society, a lot of humor is based on the assumption that a man is manly and a woman is womanly, and if one has any features of the opposite sex, it’s something to laugh about. But in reality, every one of us has features of both sides; however, some people suppress the features they don’t want to show and accept.
Carl Jung also defined character archetypes: the Hero, the Mentor, the Explorer, the Lover, the Caregiver, the Rebel, the Jester, the Ruler, the Innocent, and the Sage. These archetypes are often used to define personas in marketing. You can recognize similar profiles at 16personalities.
How it all comes together
You can’t get to the surface of the water if you are carrying stones in your pockets.
– Me on socials
As we live at a particular consciousness level as our baseline, we usually have suppressed traumas from the past that raise fears and insecurities about growing into the next levels of consciousness.
By getting into an emotionally safe space and then meditatively going back to the past in memories and re-experiencing the first occurrences of the events that blocked us later in life, we can send energy, love, and understanding to the past version of self, to dissolve the emotional tensions and get free from that trauma that shaped how we react to similar events later in the lifetime. It’s called shadow work, and it’s not as easy as it sounds, especially with the heaviest experiences. However, the more we work on that, the healthier, more loving, and peaceful our life gets later in the future.
By starting to care about bigger and bigger groups of people, we raise our consciousness, increase our responsibility, and create or recall larger missions for why we are here and what we are supposed to do here, or how important it is what we do in the overall journey or grand scheme.
[…] we will see that power arises from meaning. It has to do with motive and it has to do with principle. Power is always associated with that which supports the significance of life itself. It appeals to that in human nature which we call noble, in contrast to force, which appeals to that which we call crass. Power appeals to that which uplifts and dignifies-ennobles. Force must always be justified, whereas power requires no justification. Force is associated with the partial, power with the whole.
Usually, I express myself online or in live communications secularly, without mentioning any references to God and spiritual living. However, the past years have raised and strengthened me spiritually, and I came to a point where I felt a need to talk about that with people with similar deep and high experiences.
If you are someone I know and reading this text, it might be a surprise for you. On the other hand, if you had some hunch about this, it might be an explanation. But most importantly, I want to reach soulmates and twin flames with whom I could openly talk about deep stuff.
Some keywords for the things I will write further would be healing from past traumas, manifestations, astral projections, and channeling, not according to theoretical books or people who teach their secrets for thousands, but as I have experienced and understood them.
We live in a collective dream. We project the multidimensional reality through our minds to 3D and experience it. I don’t believe that everything is possible. There are limitations in the multidimensional reality that were formed over time of existence in the collective consciousness. All the things that science analyzes make reality solid: biology, chemistry, physics, mathematics, and computer science. But certain areas like quantum physics open possibilities to experience more than the 3D to which we might be used.
From a quantum-physics perspective, humans are spiritual multidimensional beings living 3D experiences a day at a time. Every day, we are dealt a hand of cards we need to play with. Have you ever noticed that one day, you or your closest ones look or behave a little bit differently than other days? Or maybe that some days you remember a good or bad habit or have some health issue. That happens from time to time, repeatedly.
Some of us realize that and can shift the 3D experience from one spot to another on demand. It’s not physically changing places but instead changing your configuration to lead you better to what you want to have or be. That’s called manifestation. It’s an intentional change of your 3D experience towards a goal that you want to achieve. The common goals are becoming healthier, fitter, more beautiful, more financially successful, more free, or more abundant in another way.
There is a saying: “We see the world not as it is, but as we are.” Wherever we focus, we manifest more of that in our minds. With the fixed mindset, we are in a loop of repeating actions, behaviors, and circumstances, often followed by guilt, blame, hopelessness, or anger. With the growth mindset, we experiment and shift perceptions and identity until we become what we want to be. And that is often followed by optimism, trust in faith, peace, and love.
No one here on Earth is left behind. Even the most introverted persons are not alone. We are all being helped by souls and spirits. Just not everyone sees that. Especially if you are absorbed into your egoistic self, you might not see the signs around you. The more you think about how you could serve the world better, the more help you receive.
2021, for me, was when I realized that we are not alone. We are always surrounded by other souls. I started learning to communicate with them, remembered some episodes from my childhood related to them, and even cleared some memories from before arriving in this material world.
In 2023, I had lots of spiritual experiences during meditations, and not only that. I was healed from my biggest life traumas. Paradoxically, the beginning of feeling the spiritual experiences in 2021 was one of those traumas because many spirits around me were very negative about me.
Past traumas are psychological blocks from the past that have negative outcomes on our bodies. They can be felt as headaches or other illnesses and pains in our physical body. Healing from them happens by recognizing the real cause of the tension in a particular body part and releasing the tension with forgiveness, peace, and trust, sometimes also with love. By cleansing the tensions, you open for the energy to flow throughout your body, which leads to quicker and easier manifestations.
Over the past two years, I developed an ability not only to feel others empathetically but also to physically feel the pains and pleasures of others and sometimes let them heal their past traumas. Some of the spiritual experiences I had were quite dark and painful for me. Some of them were delightful, peaceful, and full of love.
Several events in 2023 had an energetically strong influence on my life, reaching the souls of very energetically high people and getting some realizations I wouldn’t normally get if I had a fixed mindset and was always moving in the same circle. The strongest ones energetically were an online meeting of the community of the “Think and Grow Rich: The Legacy” movie and the online workshop “The LightWorkers’ Persecution Imprint” by Edward Mannix. The people of the Think and Grow Rich community were all directed toward financial growth and success. The people at the lightworkers’ workshop were empaths, healers, star seeds, and other lightworkers helping other people spiritually, but at the same time, they have had lots of social criticism since burning witches.
I am not planning to work as a healer because I don’t know more than I know in this field, and I have already defined my path for the future. Now, I am manifesting my designed future day by day by taking action toward it. Daydreams can be manifested in 5 or 10 years without action, but they are fulfilled faster if they are led by action.
The last thing that I became aware of is channeling. Most of the creators, performers, public speakers, politicians, and other public figures experience spiritual help from other souls, spirits, or God, being aware of that or not. And I had experienced channeling several times in 2023 with my awareness. Note that channeling still happens through the prism of your own belief system, and it’s probably impossible to express something from you that you are against. By channeling, spirits help you unlock the corners of your subconsciousness, which would help you express yourself in a given situation.
There is much more that I could write on these topics, but I will leave that to private conversations with people who will appear in my life after this writing.
If aliens made 100 clones of you with your skills, knowledge, attitude, and mindset, would the world be a better place to live or worse?
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Press, radio, TV, and social media are precisely clone-making machines.
Each of us resonates with what we consume.
👤 ➔ 📺📻📱 ➔ 👥👥👥😉👥👥👥
We have a conscious or unconscious tendency to copy who resembles us.
That’s called homophily (“love of being alike”).
👥👥👥 ❤️ 😉 ❤️ 👥👥👥
For example, people may be more likely to follow trends or form friendships, romantic relationships, or professional connections with individuals who share interests or have similar educational backgrounds at similar times.
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Our network shapes us, and we shape our network as well. We copy not only our relatives and friends but also friends of friends and friends of friends of friends.
😉 ⇄ 👤 ⇄ 👤
You are connected to anyone on Earth by 6 degrees of separation: your friend is 1 degree from you, the friend of your friend is 2 degrees, and so on.
But we have influence and are influenced by 3 degrees on average.
😉 ⇄ 👤 ⇄👤 ⇄ 👤 ⋯ 👤 ⋯ 👤 ⋯ 👤
If you have 120 acquaintances, and each of them has 120 acquaintances, and each of those has that many, too, you can imagine how many people you may influence just by your presence.
And if you are on social networks, you probably have way more friends than 120.
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So, a few questions for you:
Does this make you feel paralyzed or more responsible for your actions?
Do your actions match your virtues?
Are you living your best self?
🦸♀️🦸🏻♂️🦸🏽♀️😉🦸🦸🏿♂️🦸🏻♂️
This information was strongly influenced by the book “Connected” by Nicholas Christakis, MD, Ph.D., and James Fowler, Ph.D.
What a paradox that to write about productivity for those who always postpone things, I am procrastinating myself while scrolling productivity and business tips on Twitter. The problem is that I shouldn’t focus on productivity to be productive. Instead, I should focus on my goals. And develop effective habits.
The trick is just to start doing what you planned. And so I started, and in this article, I will give you a glimpse of those habits that you should develop to live a more thriving and meaningful life.
Know your WHY’s
Always be aware of why you are doing what you are doing. You will always have very little motivation if your reasons are vague.
Do you work just for survival? Or for financial stability? Or for recognition? Or for impact? Or for self-expression?
Finish what you started
Decide in advance which of your projects are to be finished and which of them are just experiments.
Don’t start working on new projects until the old ones are completed. Learn the habit of getting things done.
Focus on your strengths
Nobody is perfect. Everyone has their flaws. As well as their strengths.
Don’t be sorry about what you can’t do. Identify what you can do best, and make that even better.
Ask others for help when it’s too hard to handle yourself or takes too much time.
Start now with what you have
Perfect conditions will never exist. So you have to start doing what you want or need to do now. Not next month, not next week, not tomorrow. But now.
Start ideating, prioritizing, and planning. Take the first steps. Even if that’s for 20 minutes. The goal is to build productive habits.
Create TODO lists
Have three TODO lists: “Must do,” “Should do,” and “Want to do.” Execute tasks from those lists according to your priorities and energy levels.
Don’t waste your time on “wants” if your “musts” are not done yet.
Break big tasks into smaller chunks
Sometimes your tasks are so huge that you just get overwhelmed and perplexed. Where should you start? How can you plan and estimate?
The trick here is to split the big task into smaller ones and evaluate them separately.
Find your prime biological time
Identify your most productive time of day. Maybe it’s your mornings, maybe afternoons, or maybe nights.
It’s your Power Hours that you should use for the most critical or creative work.
Schedule daily work time in blocks
Split your days into segments and dedicate those segments to different types of work. For example, 13:30 – 15:00 is for writing and replying to emails.
Do only one thing at a time. Don’t switch contexts. You will be more productive, focussing on only one type of work at a time.
Gamify your work
Try not to break a chain by working on something for a regular time daily. For example, building something for 1 hour every day.
Or, if you have some tedious tasks to do, decide on some point system to reward yourself for a certain amount of completed tasks.
Choose peace, not conflict
When communicating, aim to be calm, understanding, and harmonious. Unnecessary conflicts just drain your energy and make you less than productive.
Usually, complicated people are so because of their difficult pasts. So be aware of that, and it will help you be more peaceful.
Have an accountability partner
Struggling on your dreams alone might be difficult. There are a million reasons not to do something you wish to have done. The tiredness after the primary job, wishing to spend time with your friends or family, exciting TV show, or a new series on Netflix.
Don’t make excuses, and have a friend to talk with about your progress. This will make you more inspired and accountable against that person.
Control your devices
Don’t fall into the trap of digital devices. Instead, make smartphones, computers, and TV work for you, not control you.
Switch off most notifications not to distract you. Then, when you need more focus, go to Airplane mode.
Install apps that let you prioritize, plan your time, focus better.
Focus on the 20% most important tasks
The Pareto principle says that by doing just 20% of the most critical tasks, you can achieve 80% of the impact.
Identify which tasks make this 20% of your lists and focus on them.
Work hard on your mindset
Life is as finite and fatal as you define it. You can have a fixed mindset, thinking that you have developed during your childhood and youth, and nothing can be changed afterward.
Or you can be in a growth mindset thinking that you can continuously develop yourself, survive mistakes and learn from them, and work on life-changing projects.
Hold yourself accountable – drive your own life
Don’t wait for someone else to fix your life and make your dreams come true. Be the driver of your own life.
Design your life, take action, and go forward!
Invitation
There is more to that. If you learned something new and want to dive deeper, check these concise productivity tips I recently published. There are many more tips there (80 to be exact) for your goal setting, motivation, self-awareness, priorities, planning, efficiency, and growth.
“Most people spend more time planning a vacation than they do planning a life.”
― Chet Holmes
When choosing your future, some of your decisions will have long-lasting effects and can lead to lots of success or disappointments, whereas some others will be valid only for a day or two, so why bother about them too much. You could follow the Pareto principle saying that for 80% of the effect, you will need 20% of effort, so you should identify the 20% of what’s long-term and act on it. Let’s explore which decisions are short-term and which are long-term.
Short term
Short-term decisions are usually triggered by life events and news and are often made based on emotions. Short-term considerations could be caused by fear of missing out or worry about what other people will think about you. On the other hand, they can be spontaneous, playful, opportunistic, open-minded as well.
Things to do during the day. Unless it’s some life event like a birthday party, wedding, job interview, conference talk, or a show, you usually won’t need lengthy preparation.
What to wear. Why spend too much time thinking about what to wear on a regular day? Instead, just choose something that matches together, fits the weather, suits the occasion, and is comfortable.
What to eat. Choose whatever you like or are used to unless you are on a special diet.
What music to listen to. Listen to what follows your mood or supports the mood you would like to get into.
What presents to give to your friends, family, lovers. Most of the celebrations in life are recurring and relatively frequent. So surprise your people with something spontaneous.
What TV programs or movies to watch. Choose whatever seems essential or entertaining to you.
What galleries or museums to visit. Take opportunities to see whatever interesting exhibitions are open in your city or the city you visit.
As a proverb says, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
Long term
Long-term decisions are usually based on personal philosophy of life. You use logic and strategies to direct your energy towards growth. Otherwise, your life will likely stagnate or destroy you, and you will have lots of regrets about living conditions.
Where to live. Your living location and conditions will have an effect on your solitude or social life, career, love life, speed and rhythm of daily routine, etc. You can choose to live with your relatives, in a shared apartment with flatmates, in a dormitory, in a rented or owned apartment, house, or villa. And all that will have different outcomes on your future life.
What to study. Your job opportunities, quality of life, and overall happiness in your life will depend on what you learn at University, College, Academy, or Professional School. Will you study something that you are interested in or something that your parents were impressed about? Will you learn something that you are passionate about, something that the market demands, or something in between?
Where to work. Will you work for survival, self-expression, self-fulfillment, or a local or global mission? It all depends on what job you will choose and how it matches your personality. Will, each of your employment, be the basis for your following ones, or will they be just a waste of career experience while searching for your field?
What name to give to your baby. In my life, I’ve met people who hated their first or last names because those names made them difficult to reach the expectations they had from life. Not in all countries, it is possible to change your name. So when choosing a name for your newborn, choose wisely.
What name to give to your company, product, or service. Just as for the baby name, the name of your business can also have a long-lasting effect. Especially if you care not only about the sales but also about your company’s branding and distant future.
What goals to aim for. You can have many passions in life and lots of possible directions to go with your life. But which of those directions is the most optimal for your character, skills, and needs?
What’s your main reason for living. Why were you born on this planet? What’s the purpose of your life? These existential questions are definitely long-term and require deep self-analysis.
“Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values.”
– Joshua L. Liebman
It depends
Some decisions can either be quick and spontaneous or thoughtful and logical depending on what kind of person you are:
What events, conferences, or festivals to go to. Are you going to different gatherings for entertainment or getting information and resources for your projects?
What books to read. Are you reading books to have rest or to get knowledge for your career and self-development?
What podcasts to listen to. Do you listen to podcasts to fill your silence with chitchat or to learn something valuable and inspirational for life?
What country to visit for vacation. Do you choose your traveling spontaneously, or do you have a bucket list for life?
What newspapers or magazines to subscribe to. Do you read whatever is popular or what supports your knowledge for lifestyle or career?
What theatre plays to watch. Do you go to theaters to have a good time or to widen your viewpoint?
If you consider that your time is limited, you will probably try to save it by choosing what goes along with your values and goals. You will visit events, read books, and listen to podcasts useful for your primary activities. On the other hand, if you consider that your time is limitless, you will make decisions based on what feels right at the moment: you will go to events that will seem attractive, shocking, or inspiring. You will read books that entertain you much. You will listen to podcasts where the people seem most charismatic or grounded according to your preferences or where the topics seem interesting to you.
How to solve short or long-term decisions?
You can make short-term decisions using intuition, common sense, or randomness. For example, it doesn’t really matter so much what exactly you gonna wear today at work. What matters more is what clothes you buy to wear for work. It doesn’t really matter what dish you are going to try today. What matters more is what diet you are going to take in your life. It doesn’t matter too much what song you will listen to today at your lunch break. What matters more is in what mood and mindset your playlists are going to put you into.
When it comes to short-term decisions, choose what inspires you or solves a problem.
When it comes to long-term decisions, it’s better to weigh the options before making a decision. And for this reason, the most valuable tool to do that is probably the strategic prioritizer “1st things 1st”. Half an hour of prioritizing with “1st things 1st” can save you from months or even years of frustration and regrets. “1st things 1st” lets you make the most optimal decisions based on your knowledge and intuition.
This is how it goes. First, you start prioritization by defining your success criteria. Second, you list out things to prioritize. Third, you rate each item by each measure. And lastly, the tool calculates your priorities and groups them into something to choose for sure, things to consider, and things to eliminate or skip. It’s as easy as that.
Somewhat 80 years ago, an American psychologist Abraham Harold Maslow generalized a hierarchy of needs, where each level of needs builds upon the previous one. At the very base, people require a smartphone with the Internet. Just kidding.
The overview of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs
At the very base, we all have physiological needs. To stay alive, we need to eat when we have hunger, drink when we are thirsty, have something to wear for the right body temperature, get to the WC when we need it, have a place to sleep, and probably someone to sleep with.
Then we have safety needs, such as a stable source of income, having where to live, being secure outside, at home, and at work, having some rules to follow, being treated well in case of illnesses, and getting help in case of fire or other catastrophes. At this level, we want to have structure and order. We want to know our limits and live stable and predictable lives.
These two steps ensure that a person will survive physically in this world.
Then we have a need to love, be loved, and belong. At this level, life without connections feels empty. We require pets, friends, lovers, family, coworkers, communities. We want to be a part of something bigger. We want to share intimacy and tenderness, affection and belonging.
The next level is the need of esteem. We want to feel strength, self-esteem, and self-love inside of us. At the same time, we want recognition for our achieved mastery and respect for our competence from the outside world. At this level, we demand reputation and prestige.
Then there is the need of self-actualization. At this level, we want to explore, learn more, stimulate our minds. We want to play, grow, bring our best to the world. We need to be in harmony, order, and beauty.
The needs and priorities
At all of those levels we make decisions.
At the bottom of the hierarchy we need to choose what to do to survive physically.
Then we need to make decisions what to do to survive psychologically without becoming robots or zombies.
Then we need to decide what to do to become more than social animals.
Then we need to find a way how to escape the narcissism and arrogance.
Finally we need to make decisions what to do to achieve the full harmony in the world.
To make conscious decisions we have to prioritize some things over others. Let’s explore some of the crucial decisions we make at each level of our needs.
Physiological needs
What are you going to eat and drink to survive another month, week, or even this day?
When choosing food and drinks, you would typically ask yourself: Is your food cheap? Does it fill you? Is it tasty?
To get to the upper levels, you should also ask: Is your food healthy? Is your food nutritious? Does it give enough energy to you? Will your friends or family like it? Will you get a compliment for making this dish? Will your cooking skills be honored? Is it made from the best ingredients? Won’t you need to throw half your ingredients away? Is your food supply chain practical, ethical, fairtrade?
What are you going to wear?
When choosing clothes and shoes, you would typically ask yourself: Do they fit the season? Are they clean? Do they look appropriate?
To get to higher levels, you should also ask: Are they comfortable? Do they look good? Will your friends and loved ones like it? Do you feel like yourself in those clothes? Do you look respectful with this outfit? Do you need another piece of jacket this year? Are you living your authentic self with these clothes?
Safety needs
What job should you have?
When choosing a career, you would typically ask yourself: Is it paid enough? Do you understand, and can you do what they ask you there? Is it not too hard? Is it not too boring?
To get to the upper levels, you should also ask: Do you feel accepted by coworkers? Are coworkers friendly? Are you recognized for your work? Does your salary match your skills? Does the work fulfill you? Do you grow enough there? Do you do something meaningful there? Are you living your full potential at your work?
What should you buy today?
When choosing a purchase, you would typically ask yourself: Is it affordable? Do you want it? Do you need it?
To get to the higher levels, you should also ask: Is it long-lasting? Will that improve your comfort? Will that improve your relationships? Is that a brand you like? Will that look prestigious? Will that represent the status you are at? Is it useful? Does it look authentic and original? Is it ethically and ecologically made and brought to your shops?
Love & belonging needs
Which event should you attend?
When choosing events to go to, you would typically ask yourself: Would you go to this event for solidarity? Do you like the content of the event? Do you like the people who will gather there? Is it a chance to make new friends?
To get to the upper levels, you should also ask: do you feel like yourself in these kinds of events? Is it a chance to express yourself and gain recognition there? Is it not too long? Is there a chance to meet people of the same interests and social status? Can you make an impact at such events? Can you feel authentic at such events?
What present to get to your friend?
When choosing a present, you would typically ask yourself: Can you afford it? Will your friend like it? Is it something they don’t have yet?
To get to the higher levels, you should also ask: Will that present match your friend’s social status? Will that gift show your admiration and respect for your friend? Will that present lift your friend? Will that present add up to the authenticity of your friend?
Esteem needs
What should be your goals for the upcoming years?
When choosing long-term goals, you would typically ask yourself: Is that goal specific? Can it be measured? Is it attainable for you? Is it realistic to achieve it? Is the timing correct for this goal?
To get to the upper level, you should also ask: Is the goal positively stated? Is it ethical? Is it challenging you? Is it environmentally sound?
What books should you read?
When choosing your next book to read, you would typically ask yourself: Does it bring you knowledge and understanding? Does it improve your skills? Is it widespread or reputable literature? Is it interesting? Is it entertaining?
To get to the higher level, you should also ask: Does it make you a better human being? Does it lift you up spiritually? Does it help to find yourself or going towards your personal mission?
Need for self-actualization
What are the activities that you could call your Ikigai?
When choosing your reason for being, you would typically ask yourself: Do you love doing it? Are you good at it? Can you be paid for it? Does the world need it?
To go even further, you should ask yourself: Is it healthy? Is it ethical? Is it sustainable? Is it ecological? Is it progressive?
What should you do today?
When choosing the next optimal action to do today, you would typically ask yourself: Does that bring you closer to your goals? Does it remove bottlenecks? Does it make money or reduce costs?
To go even further, you should ask yourself: Is it impactful? Is it ethically, socially, and ecologically responsible? Does it bring more health and clarity to your life?
Invitation
So you have to make decisions and prioritize your choices at all levels of needs. The strategic prioritizer “1st things 1st” was designed to help you not lose yourself among all those choices and dimensions and help you grow as an individual, personality, and spirit. You are invited to use it and make your life more progressive.
If you are still struggling at the survival phase, but you would still like to make better decisions in your life, drop me a message and your reasons at the contact form. Every month I will select several people to use the tool for free.
One kind of events in life happens spontaneously, unplanned, powered by intuition, and seeming random. Calling a friend, buying a chocolate bar, or sitting down on a bench at a fountain doesn’t require special preparation.
Another kind of events requires making hard decisions because of the urge to gain something huge or the risk of losing something important. In those cases, it’s better to get prepared.
In life, as in nature, everything happens in cycles. Previously I introduced you to the cycle of long-term success as I saw it at that moment. Today, I have refined the mentioned cycle, and now it consists of these 5 steps: research, prioritize, plan, act, reflect.
1. Research
Research is formalized curiosity. It is poking and prying with a purpose. – Zora Neale Hurston
First of all, before taking a measured action, you would need to find out what your choices are today. You can use a search engine, Wikipedia, references, podcasts, magazines, books, or anything else that provides you with information that you could utilize in your field of focus. Gather information with the intent to incorporate it into your activities.
2. Prioritize
“If everything is important, then nothing is.” – Patrick M. Lencioni
There are several ways to set priorities for your activities. You can use the flexible and mighty prioritizer “1st things 1st”, decision matrices in Excel sheets, Eisenhower Matrix on a piece of paper, or maybe just selecting the first several priorities intuitively.
3. Plan
If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. – Jim Rohn
Put your most important activities on the schedule. You can use Google Calendar, Apple Calendar, monday.com, any other scheduling app, or even an analog calendar on your wall or in your Moleskine. Try not to have more than 3 activities in a day. Book yourself or your colleagues for the vital work to do.
4. Act
Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. – William James
Now it’s time to do what you have planned. Have a necessary meeting or a zoom call, speak, write, or perform what’s on your list today this hour.
5. Reflect
It is only by reflecting on the past that one can create a better future. – Rithy Panh
If you got positive results, celebrate the wins. If you failed, see what you can learn from your mistakes. The next time will be better. Now go back to the first step and do the new research.
Final words
If you master the cycle of long-term success, you form a habit of success. Whether you win or lose, you gain experience and become excellent at what you do.
At some point in my life, I used to ask myself: if I am the most important person in my life, why would I ever need a role model to follow? People are faulty, make mistakes, sometimes have hidden agendas, and manipulate others; sometimes, they wear masks. Why would I need to follow someone else? Can’t I be the best version of myself just as I am out of my own character and personality?
The problem is that if you just concentrate on yourself, you can quickly lose focus of the big picture, become too narcissistic, and be blind to your faults. You don’t see yourself from aside too well and don’t have enough insights into which of your parts to improve. There is no limit to perfection and excellence. And no one has achieved it all.
Life is a journey of ups and downs. Sometimes you can go on your own. Sometimes you need help to stay on track. Different high-achievers have gained lots of experience and can teach you things you have never thought possible. You don’t have to accept everything a role model teaches you. You can filter the knowledge by what resonates with you. Grow, become the best authentic self, and pass the knowledge and tips to the younger generations or other less mature individuals.
Today I have several role models in my life and will introduce you to my top 3 ones. I don’t know too much about their biographies besides what they share online or in their books. But I like their achievements and points of view.
Robin Sharma
“Genius is less about your genealogy and more about your neuroplasticity. Masters are made, not born.” – Robin Sharma
Robin is a humanitarian and leadership missionary. He wrote several best-sellers like “The 5 AM Club”, “The Monk who Sold his Ferrari,” “The Leader Who Had No Title,” etc. Besides helping leaders from all around the world play the A-game, he motivates people of any profession to become the best version of themselves.
Robin Sharma is a master of words. He talks about leadership with swiss-army-knife preciseness. His books are full of classical wisdom and thoroughly thought through methodologies.
“Be radically proactive about any behavior that pays off in 10 years.” – James Clear
James is best known for his best selling book “Atomic Habits” about building good habits and his insightful newsletter 3-2-1, where every week he shares 3 personal ideas, 2 quotes from others, and 1 question for the reader.
James Clear digs deep into human psychology and makes his messages very concise and straight to the point.
“Don’t attach your happiness to your goals. Be happy before you attain them. You’ll find attaining them much easier when you make the journey and not the destination the key to your happiness.” – Vishen Lakhiani
Vishen is the founder of Mindvalley, a company that aims to transform the conventional education system. His company brings the knowledge of the best mindful people in the world in online courses called quests. Vishen is also the author of two transformational best sellers, “The Code of Extraordinary Mind” and “The Buddha and the Badass.”
Vishen Lakhiani is open-minded, rational, and spiritual. He urges you to think out of the box, give your intuition power, and listen to your soul.
Everyone is limited. But also everyone has lots of different experiences. If you want to grow, you need to decide for your direction where to grow. Having a role model is one of the ways to set that direction. And you don’t have to agree with everything he or she says. Just filter out what resonates with you, listen to your heart and your gut feeling. Then grow.
Here is a short list of habits that I try to practice every day for the sake of ecology. Let’s be more aware of our consumption and wasting behavior.
Keep the Environment Clean
Respect the work of street and environment cleaners. They won’t stay out of work if you resist throwing away cigarette butts on the streets, dropping plastic cups in the fields of festivals, or leaving the trash in nature.
I liked the Fusion-festival example with a garbage policy. Every person entering the festival had to make a 10€ deposit and got a huge bag for the garbage. After the festival, you could retrieve the deposit only if you brought back the bag full of trash.
Sort and Separate the Waste
Even if you have heard gossips that they dispose of the sorted garbage in the same scrap-heap, sorting waste forms a good habit for the times of improved infrastructure in your city. Also, gossips are not necessarily true.
Avoid Unnecessary Plastic
Don’t worry about using long-lasting plastic things like chairs, dishes, drinking bottles, sandwich boxes, or toys. But avoid single-use plastic things like lightweight bags, straws, or disposable cups. Plastic that gets out to nature over long years is dissolved into microplastic and eventually comes back to you inside the food.
Dismantle Carton Boxes Before Throwing Away
When you throw away any boxed packages like the ones from milk, juice, corn flakes, or tea, at first, dismantle the box. It will take less space in the garbage container, and in the long run, there will be less energy consumed for sanitation, as the garbage truck will need to come to collect the garbage less often.
Cut any Plastic Rings that are Used for Packaging
Plastic rings from beer six-packs, bottle stoppers, handles for cups, Tetra Pak stoppers, and others usually become a disaster for wild animals. Lots of birds, turtles, and sea animals get stuck in those rings and die suffering.
Before throwing away any plastic ring, cut it with a knife or scissors so that no living creature could get stuck in it.
Call to Action
What are your daily habits that help us save the planet? What new did you learn from this blog post? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
